Choose your heat
Cute pet. Brutal honesty.
Start with one free roast. When your pet has more explaining to do, unlock a savage follow-up or bring the entire pack into the line of fire.
The free opening shot
First Roast
One pet. One sharp, photo-aware line. No ceremony.
$0
No card. No catch.
- Upload one pet photo
- One instant personalized roast
- Built to screenshot and send
Most heat
For pets with a case to answer
Savage Roast
Turn the heat up with a deeper roast when the first line is not enough.
$3
One-time roast option
- Three distinct roast lines
- Choose savage, playful, or deadpan
- Share-ready roast card
- No subscription, no recurring charge
For the whole chaotic household
Savage Pack
Bring the group chat enough evidence to roast every familiar face.
$9
One-time roast option
- Roast up to five pets
- Three lines for each pet
- Individual share cards
- One full-pack finale
Premium roast and pack checkout are not open yet. Every button starts the live free-roast signup flow—no payment is requested here.
Field notes